Let’s take a second, first & foremost to reflect on your possible situationship or relationship.
You’ve been dating someone and y’all have been going through the motions. Y’all continue to get a better understanding of each other on all fronts as you guys have: dinner dates, movies, sleepovers, and so forth.
As time has seemed to pass you by, you realize that you haven’t really defined what it is you’ve immersed yourself into. I mean it’s been months of spending time with this person and you have no idea where you are with them.
Are y’all in a relationship or have you stumbled into a situationship of sorts?
& depending on your discovery of the category you might fall into with this person — are you happy where you are?
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Before diving deep into today’s blog post, I think it only makes sense to define the difference between — a situationship and a relationship.
a situationship, is a connection between two people who are either getting to know each other with either zero desire to pursue anything permanent (just having fun & vibing out) or every desire to get to a place of permanency… eventually. This is more of a “go with the flow” environment where all bets are off. There are no expectations and no commitment whatsoever.
a relationship however, is a connection between two people, who have committed to one another. They have decided to exclusively pursue each other with the hopes of building something lasting emotionally, physically, mentally, and so forth. Precise commitment is found in this space and expectations from one person to the other follow suit.
As far as situationships go, they are usually pretty tricky territory. It’s not supposed to be, but it can be. A situationship is meant to be a “go with the flow” space. Naturally when you’re going with the flow — conversations about what’s next are very far and in between. Hell, they’re practically avoided. There is usually an absence of kept plans, consistency, and communication.
It’s the sort of environment where one can be hot & heavy in one breath and cold as ice in the next. On one hand not being tied down to the expectations of a relationship can be quite freeing. However, if both parties aren’t on the same page whew. It can prove very detrimental. In any case, situationships are perfect for individuals who: are newly single, taking time for themselves, but looking to have a little fun & a warm body to indulge in every now and then, or someone who is afraid of commitment.
With regard to relationships, they usually follow a different track altogether. For starters, both individuals have committed to one another. & trust me when I say, there’s no confusion in this space. Consistency is expected and respect is sought after. Relationships tend to be perfect for anyone looking for something long term. Anyone willing to commit themselves to another and actively work on who they present as in the relationship in order to keep it strong & healthy. In a relationship (in most cases), plans are made and kept, communication is constant, and the “what’s next” conversation isn’t avoided. It’s actually sought after quite often.
Personally, I got a better understanding of what a situationship entails just as recently as a few months ago. The person I was getting to know at the time was looking for a situationship of sorts and I well… The Scorpio in me is not much for the “go with the flow” sort of vibe. I’m very intentional and don’t like wasting my time, so it was very clear after seeking to clarify where we stood — that we were pursuing very different things.
Ya live & you learn though, right?
Nevertheless, I think it helps to understand the difference — between a situationship & a relationship that is. Both can prove vital to your overall growth as you continue to establish connections, until you meet your person.
So where do you babes fall? Are you in a relationship or a situationship?
If you find that you’re in a situationship and would like to be in a more committed situation — Have a conversation with your partner. Be honest & let him or her know where your head is at. In the event that despite said conversation, the other party prefers the situationship — count your blessings & get a move on. There are too many babes in the sea, to find yourself down and out over one.
To pursuing whatever it is that sets your soul on fire, situationship or not,
Thelms
friendly reminder, new blog posts on With Love, Thelms every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for you babes’ viewing pleasure.
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