HAVE YOU EVER?

Have you ever looked at the life you’ve led so far and want to turn back the clock — the hand of time.

Not to change major things, but the small things — the things that seemed so insignificant at the time.

Maybe to live a few times more than once.. well and to maybe not lived through a few moments at all.

Wish you had never met certain people or held them close to your bosom like a faux fur jacket on a cold January morning.

& then again wished just maybe that you had held on to others a little tighter — that you let go of too easily. Listened a little more, been sensitive to their needs more readily…

Have you ever looked at the life you’ve led so far and wish just even a little that you could go back — turn back the clock. Make changes to time.

Pushed yourself a little harder to accomplish then what you are so desperate to accomplish now. Worked harder to wade in self love instead of doing everything you can to claw your way out of a pit of loathing towards self.

To take back the energy you spent loving people who drained the little love you had left for yourself.

Spent time nurturing the love you shared between others, the love that you actually valued but were too afraid to be vocal about.

Have you ever?

Just for a second wished you could have a do over — similar to how we get to start again after losing the first round of Uno.

Deal the deck and play your cards just right, so winning actually feels attainable?

To go back and be more honest about feeling hurt by those who claim to love you. To stop putting energy into those that since the beginning had no intention to love you with the same abandonment.

Maybe even live with such abandonment that the little things don’t affect you as much as they try to.

BUT in the midst of wanting to look back, have you ever tried to understand that it all happened for your greater good? That everything or every person that broke your heart did so because it was meant to teach you how to love better? Love harder? Love stronger? Love longer?

That those experiences were meant to stay with you, not to relive but to simply remember. To be grateful, through times of joy and in times of pain.

So please.

The next time you find yourself wanting to look back on the past — I hope you remember that the “have you Evers” were not meant to hold you back or make you regret where you are… not even for a second longer.

Thelms