HOW I REALLY FEEL ABOUT STARTING MY NURSE JOURNEY

Excited, but slightly anxious.

That’s the best way I can summarize how I feel about starting my nurse journey.

I’m excited because this is everything I ever worked for coming to a point of actualization. It’s the most surreal feeling knowing that I’m actually here. That I have not only reached a point, but THE point. That spending 5348282 + days of school was really worth it. It meant something. As I sit in my living room at 6am on this Monday morning writing this to you all, I feel a shiver of excitement run through my body. From the center of my back to the front of my chest, spreading like wildfire. The feeling is indescribable.

I can’t believe I’m starting my nurse journey today.

However, that doesn’t mean that I don’t also feel anxious. A little nervous even.

Why, you might be wondering?

As someone who’s developed therapeutic ways of battling random periods of anxiety, I’ve learned a thing or two. A major one being that growth triggers my anxiety. Whenever I’m faced with an opportunity to grow in some way, I feel slightly anxious initially. I’d like to believe that it’s not just a me thing, but a most people, if not everyone thing.

Because isn’t it?

Growth can be anxiety producing because it’s not something you can prepare for. It’s not something you can predict. Growth challenges you in a way that a predictable or unchanged life never could. But despite that, it’s what makes growth so beautiful. It sends the message that despite the struggles you may face while going through it, you will come out on the other side better. Changed in a way that complacency could never dream of changing you.

With that being said, this leads me to my prayer. The prayer that isn’t just for myself, but also for every new nurse out there on their individual nurse journey. This is also for any babe getting ready to embark on a journey of growth. Whatever that may look like.

I pray that you oh God, grant us grace. That we are so moved by the beauty we hope to see on the other end that we go in faith. That we trust you so much that we fight through the discomfort that growth can sometimes bring. I pray that we remain steadfast as we spend this time learning. Learning not only about ourselves, but how to care for others, and perfect every skill set taught to us during this time. I pray that you keep our hearts open to this period of growth. I pray that the spirit of fear and anxiety is cancelled out and instead replaced with faith and assurance. Trusting in you oh God and remembering that all things are possible through Christ. Lord give us the strength to believe that we are capable. To remember that all roads have led to this very moment. As much as we learn and attempt to soak everything in, God I pray that you keep us present. That you keep us in the moment as active members of the experience in this period of our lives. May those who come into our lives and those that are already in it, wish us only good. May they be individuals who will aid in our growth and enable us to be better, do better, live better — in a way that positively impacts ourselves and those around us. Grant us, your children, journey mercies as we embark on a journey that will change us in a way you saw fitting since the beginning of time.

All this I pray, in Jesus name,

Amen.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

Thelms