Some of us have been blessed to find our equals early on in life. I’m talking high school (or as early as middle school), so you have never had to date. Or you may have even found your special someone as recently as a few years back. All of which no longer requires you to date. However, the truth about dating? Most of the time, it’s going to suck. Especially in your 20’s.
It’s going to feel like it’s eating away at you every time you begin getting to know someone new. Having to have most of the same conversations (what do you value, what do you believe in, are you close with your family) over and over again. To repeatedly feel like for even a few moments that the new person could be a forever person. However, like every time before — you’re splashed in the face with a bucket of ice cold water. A reality check that reminds you why this surely will not be.
That happened to me very recently, and I was again reminded how much dating can suck. How exhausting opening up or the idea of thinking it’s beginning to be safe enough to do so can be when in the end it might likely be all for nothing. Or getting baited to open up only to be recategorized.
Hmm.
I think I gained a friend though, which might not be so bad. I have so many friends though, but one more couldn’t possibly be so bad right?
Hmm.
I’m not angry. I’m almost positive I’m not even upset. Or disappointed.
I’m just mostly tired.
Tired of what seems to be the same end. The only difference being the men who take hold of the lead or supporting role — even if it’s for a little bit.
The rotation of one to another.
So I guess in writing this, I’ve come to a realization.
I need a break.
From dating, from putting myself in a position where I’m getting to know someone new.
I think I’m done with that for awhile. & maybe you (the person reading this who likely feels the exact same way) needs a break too.
*shrugs*
After graduating from nursing school and then becoming a registered nurse, I made a point to pursue dating. I made a point of being open to new and exciting connections. For a time, I even had a Tinder lol. That in itself, an experience to say the least (if you missed my thoughts on Tinder, catch up here babes).
However, in light of all of that — it might be time.
It might be time for us to just call a spade a spade and recognize that this isn’t working for us any longer. At least for right now. That we might be better suited letting things be. Letting things flow as they were meant to flow without a calculated approach from our end.
So I guess, the truth about dating is that it’s messy. It’s not perfect, it’s taxing on the mind — but most importantly the spirit. It doesn’t ever really end up the way you think. Or the way you may have pictured it in your mind. Then again most things hardly ever go the way you might have pictured it. & it’s because of that a lot of times the truth about dating is realizing when you need to take a step back from doing the act itself — dating that is.
Just maybe there’s some clarity that comes when you put that on a pause for a while.
I mean your 20’s are all about self discovery. Doubling down on your morals, what matters to you, what you need & ultimately what you are looking for in a significant other.
The funny thing is, we ask God for a sign — for clarity and he shows us. He gives it to us always.
On Sunday, I asked for clarity and I got it on a Monday evening.
Would you look at that.
Thelms
friendly reminder, new blog posts on With Love, Thelms every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for you babes’ viewing pleasure.
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