Life

HOW TO STAY IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF

Posted on August 12, 2020

It’s one thing to accomplish falling in love with yourself, but the real feat? The part that’s never really discussed is how to stay in love with yourself, once you fall. I thought about myself when I wrote today’s post, so this one is especially near and dear to me y’all. No, scratch that. I thought about us all and the vulnerability that comes with not being at your best sometimes. Which ultimately makes staying in love with yourself that much harder.

However, before jumping into the tips I have for how to stay in love with yourself, I’ll explain the backstory.

It would be easier yes, to say that my confidence never wanes and I’m constantly at a height of self love that no one could shake… BUT, that would be dishonest and unreal.

There are times when I don’t feel at my best.

Le’sigh.

Times that make staying in love with myself a bit challenging.

I may wake up with a pimple one morning and think, “Gosh. This thing is ruining my life. I feel like everyone can see it.”

Or,

Wake up feeling bloated and try on my favorite jeans and realize something troubling. They don’t look as good as they did two weeks ago.

I’ve even,

Woken up, and just felt drained and so out out of it that sleeping seems much more appealing than getting dressed and going out.

In the midst of those feelings and others, I know I’m not alone. I recognize that we all have those days where staying in love with the you who has so much to offer is challenging and damn hard at times.

But I do it, no matter what.

I consciously make the effort to do so on days where choosing a different path seems easier.

& because we’re a community of babes here on With Love, Thelms who are trying to get and keep our shit together I’d like to share tips that help me stay in love with myself. Tips that I’m almost positive will help you as well.

For starters,

(1) I make sure to write down (I prefer to put the pencil to the pad in most situations), all the things I love about myself. I may not go as far as writing things on my mirror like Mary Jane (s/o Being Mary Jane though), but writing them down on paper does it for me.

(2) I also accept that there are days where I may feel down about myself, but those feelings can’t possibly last forever. If I take the time to recognize that, I consciously make a point of not letting myself remain in a down place. Although when I am, I also make sure to not be too hard on myself either. After all, this too shall pass.

(3) This one can get challenging at times, but I make a point of trying my damndest to not compare myself to others. No two people are alike y’all. Even twins who physically appear the same aren’t alike. So when you compare yourself to another, you will find that you are constantly disappointed because you will never be someone else. You shouldn’t want to be either. As cliche as it may seem, we all were made in God’s perfect light for our own unique reason. You have and will always be good enough, even on your not so hot days. I promise.

(4) I lean on others when it feels like I can’t lean on myself. It’s challenging to let others in when you’re not at your best. I understand that. However, it’s much more rewarding when you do and find that in doing so your mood is lifted.

(5) Get tf away from people who make you feel less than you at any point. Harsh? Maybe, but a necessary message nonetheless. To be honest, it goes without saying that keeping people around who make you feel less than… so damn harmful.

(6) Remember that staying in love with yourself takes work. So be kind to yourself when one day needs a little bit more work than the other. Be kind to yourself when “the work” feels a little bit more challenging on one day than the other.

You are worth it. Always have been, always will be. Even when loving yourself feels damn difficult. You are worth every effort.

To falling in love with yourself heart first and staying in love for even longer,

Thelms