With Love, Thelms

Oh the joys of the holiday season.

Everywhere you look relationships are popping out of the wood works or blossoming like peonies in April. In my experience, this time of the year usually tests many fresh and seasoned relationships alike — did you guys see what I did there?

Obviously Thanksgiving and feasting is on the brain in heavy rotation.

However, not to be deterred, let’s jump straight into today’s blog post: 5 Warning Signs That Your Relationship is Toxic AF.

So back to the testing of relationships.

This time of the year either brings out the best in relationships or the absolute worst.

I guess there’s something to be said about the holidays making people realize if their SO (significant other) fits into one of three categories:

The guy or gal that you see yourself bringing to the family Christmas party for years to come,

The person you don’t see making it to the next family Christmas party,

OR

The guy/gal who’s just around for a good time and not a long time.

Now I know that the holidays are considered “cuffing season.” A time where everybody wants to be boo’d up and have someone to dish about. Whether that means over morning coffee with the girls or a sweat out sessions with your guys, but listen. Does wanting to be cuffed for the sake of being cuffed really that serious?! Why forsake your sanity and overall happiness, knowing you’re in a toxic relationship, but refusing to get out of it. Whether it’s the start of something new or the fifth Christmas y’all have spent together — toxic is as toxic does, period.

With that being said, it’s important to figure out if your situation is toxic. Should your SO be attending next year’s family Christmas party or any event in your life?

Lucky for you babes I think I just might be able to help with that.

SO Keep reading for, 5 Warning Signs That Your Relationship is Toxic AF — just in time for the upcoming holidays. I promise you babes can thank me later. 😉

(1) EVERY LITTLE THING THEY DO GETS UNDER YOUR SKIN – not only does this signal that your relationship is toxic, but it may also signal that you’re not IN love anymore. I mean listen, there’s no way that anything good can come from the mere existence of your SO bothering you to that extent. Nothing.

(2) YOU BICKER LIKE CATS AND DOGS – I’m all for a healthy discussion with differences of opinions, but to bicker? That’s a whole other level of petty. To bicker with someone is to not ease up. You don’t wish to understand when you have differences in opinion — you just want to argue to win and be petty. Neither of which encompasses love & compromise, the very basis of a non-toxic relationship.

(3) HONESTY TAKES A BACKSEAT IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP – The moment you can’t be honest with your SO is the very moment your relationship dies. I don’t think I need to say anything more on that.

(4) INSTEAD OF BEING PRAISED, YOU’RE ALWAYS BEING CRITICIZED – Who could find comfort with someone that judges you about everything? From your choice in clothing to how you wear your hair. If someone truly loves you, they wouldn’t spend most of their time nailing you to the cross. Instead, they would spend an equal amount of time (if not more), celebrating you for all that you are.

(5) LACK OF INDEPENDENCE – If you can’t live your life as your own person within your relationship, GET OUT. No one should ever have the power to control you or force you to live your life on their terms. Having witnessed a friend in this type of relationship, know this. With time you don’t garner more independence. Rather with time you lose a little more of your independence till you have nothing left.

 

If any of this resonates with you leave. Don’t be afraid to choose yourself over the comfort you find in just being with someone.

Leave and find yourself, your faith, and your sanity.

Thelms