Life Style



Over the past several years I’ve realized many things about myself, one of the most important ones being how independent I am. I guess you could say I’ve always had a knack for getting things done with or without the help of others. When I can help it, I rely on me. After all, we’re only humans and sometimes (most times) our first instinct is to take care of ourselves before others. However, as awesome as being independent in nature can be, it has been the downfall of a few love connections panning out.

This is usually because most guys want you to need them and for your entire life to revolve around them. I’ve found that this can be too much for me. I’m not the girl:

That wants to stay on the phone with you all day and all night (though I used to be in my younger years, but who wasn’t back then?).

That needs constant texts from you throughout the day.

That requires you to bring me along every time you’re headed out.

To be completely frank, I like my space too damn much. Plus, when you’re doing life on your own terms as a young 20 something and kicking ass might I add, a partnership especially with a needy guy can be very unappealing.

In realizing that, I’ve come up with a few things us independent babes need in our next love connection.





1. HE’S DRIVEN / AMBITIOUS AF: This is a big thing for me. Being the go getter that us independent babes are, we really don’t have time for guys that aren’t on the same wavelength. The way I see it, I’m too busy worried about getting my life together, to make out extra time to help you get your life in order as well. I think it’s super sexy when a guy is just as driven as I am in their own respective field. Hearing a guy talk about his dreams, aspirations, and the steps he’s currently taking to achieve them… SEXY AF. To top it off, if he has his own dreams to accomplish he will be totally understanding when you have to make adjustments to y’alls “couple time” to accomplish your own.

2. HE HAS HIS OWN LIFE: There’s nothing worse than a guy who has no dreams, can’t get off the couch, or be bothered to get outside and meet up with friends. Basically, someone who has no life. I feel like when guys don’t have their own life, they begin picking at yours and trying to overly invade it. By invading yours, they stop respecting space and boundaries thus causing the waters of your relationship to get super choppy. A lot of times when this is the case, he wants you to be just as isolated as he is. BUT. You’re independent remember? You like to get out there and make things happen, so a man that wants to sit at home all day and be pressed about what you have going on? No bueno. If he has a life, he’ll be understanding when you want to meet the girls Friday night for clubbing because he most likely wants to meet the guys for Sunday night football.

3. HE’S A PEOPLE PERSON / INTERACTIVE: Okay, so this is another huge thing for me and should be for you independent babes as well. Usually people who are independent tend to be interactive friendly people. I happen to be one of them! I cannot be with someone who when I’m out trying to get it (and I decide to have you tag along) you’re in a corner looking like a loser. Nope. I need someone who is able to communicate with others and kinda make me look good. My motto: Your man should be the Birkin of all Birkins and make you look as good as those bags make Housewives look in The Valley (and vice versa).

4. HE VALUES ALONE TIME/ FREEDOM: Huge thing for me alert. In being independent, that comes with not wanting or enjoying people invading my space constantly. I crave my alone time. In fact I’d probably die without. It gives me the opportunity to recuperate and wind down before being thrust into company again. Us independent babes need someone who values those thoughts, not only for you, but for themselves as well. Afer all, time away from your significant other (SO) is a good thing. Not only does it make you miss them more, but you also tend to value them a lot more. To be honest, I find it a bit bizarre when people don’t value alone time and are almost always in the company of others. Aren’t you going just a little insane on the inside?

5. HE BELIEVES IN YOU: Okay babes, so all five of these are huge things for me. This one being last, but certainly not the least important. Now listen. Us women are independent yes, we can do for ourselves yes, and believe in ourselves yes yes. However, it doesn’t hurt to have someone rooting for us always, especially when the rooting is coming from our man. When your man believes in you, in addition to family and friends… you’re practically unstoppable and truly can do and be anything. It’s important for your man to believe in you because it ties everything together. They will bring out the best qualities in you because they know what you’re capable of instead of bringing out the worst.




Till us independent babes meet the guy who possesses all five of those qualities, and more… I say we go out and continue living our best independent life and kick ass while doing so.

Oh and play Destiny’s Child Independent too!

“All the women, who are independent
Throw your hands up at me…”

Laters babes.

Thelms xx


Crewneck: BOOHOO



Photos by Tiffany King


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